With my son going off to high school this term I had a lot of anxiety going on.
I thought it may have just been typical mum stuff. Not ready for him to go. He is to young.
But... always a but!
As I dug deeper. I wondered why I was near on in a panic attack after I dropped them all off to school the first day. I had to control my oncoming panic attack quickly as I had a class to take. I soon realized it is probably more than that. It brought back memories of my days at high school. I had some great close friends in high school, and some I am still friends with today. But during my time at high school I also endured major bullying issues.
Something you may or may not know about me, is I suffer from cystic acne. I have done since I was a teen, and unfortunately still do.
When I was a teen it was at its worst, we tried everything. It just wouldn’t go. I developed quiet a large one on the side of my mouth. I still have the scaring. People would ask me about it, gosh I made up so many different reasons as I was to embarrassed to say the truth.
So as all teens do we had sex education and the sports teacher was a young handsome man, probably fresh out of uni looking back now. A guy that seemed to want to fit in with the boys, rather than actually be a good teacher to everyone. I hope he has learnt since. These boys once learning about (then) STD’s decided that must be what I had. So they proceeded to tell me this in front of the said teacher. I was left speechless. Looking to him for help, and not getting it. I eventually walked out. Informed my friends.
It soon became them continuing this “teasing” into break.
I remember eventually snapping and screaming back at them. My friends equally standing by me, supporting me. Knowing the truth.
It didn’t last long, a lot of people knew it was a load of bull, and it died out. But the impact it had on me didn’t. I was shy, and self conscious before hand. Now it was worse.
I would always put my hand over it, in winter pull my jumper over my hands and hold it over the side of my mouth.
I was fortunate to have such a amazing support system around me. My friends, my family. That I felt it didn’t have a lasting impact on me. Well so I thought.
Now my son is taking the adventure into high school. I am petrified he maybe bullied. All I can hope, is I have raised him well, raised him to stand up for himself when needed. For him to know he has the support system. And for him to not be one of the ones being the bully.
So today on No Bulling day, take the time to talk to your kids. Take the time as adults to think about how you react to post on social media, how you react to your work colleagues.
This is me. scars and all. #nofilter
Comments